40 Fuckin' Games!

-October 18

Congratulations to everyone who played in Badass Baseball this year. Hours before the Raiders got raped by Tampa Bay, Badass started its first official stat season. I think the only Badass to wear shorts that day was Robbie (beautiful sock tan) from January all the way to October everyone who was on the field played hard….well, sometimes played hard. We all played through the weather, it was cold in the beginning and that turned into rain. Puddles on field called for many stops in play and bases granted due to the ball being in a swamp in the infield. We had to position ourselves so either we were way in front of 3rd base and about to get your teeth knocked out or behind the puddle and risk the mud and water bath if the ball lands in front of you. Don’t forget base running. If you think you can just run fine with a wet base path, just ask Kyle. Oh and don’t think cuz you fall on your face that we will have mercy, hell no, we will tag you while you lay in a pool of your own blood and piss.

Records were made and records were broken, a lot were made by Ed, a lot were broken by Josh. Peace Punk. A guy who showed up one time made tons of records, Carl made the rbi record and the hits in a day avg. The most impressive records arguably were the hit streak that Ed had at a nice round 20 as well as setting the home runs in a game record during that streak at 6. Later in the year the 6 home runs would be tied. Brandon had a very impressive streak where he won every game he played in until something like 15-0. Too bad nobody cares about winning and losing cuz badass is all about stats lol.

We had controversy many times this year with a little award called The Small Penis Award. Oh my! We had many complaints about the way some would earn the award. There was so many complaints that I suggested to get rid of that award, a few thought it would be bullshit to remove an award so it stayed. One thing that was removed was the Big Dick of the Year award. Rob and I were going to nail a big black rubber dildo to a block of wood and that was the award for the one who was the worst of year. That was scrapped because it would put one guy down and the whole reason to play in badass is to have fun and if people take it hard to win small dick for one week only, then they might kill themselves if they won it for a year.

Our home run contest at the allstar break was pretty much a bust, with 2 homeruns, you were able to advance in the contest. 4 men entered the next round and Brandon moved on to the finals by hitting 1 homer cuz Greg Minor hit none. Ed moved to the finals by hitting 2 cuz I only hit 1. In the less then dramatic finals, Brandon killed his competition by hitting a whole 1. Ed, the guy who came in 2nd in the years home run total hit a big ZERO in the finals, way to step up when it count Ed. Peace Punk.

All and all, Badass Baseball was a success this year in 2003. There was a home run race, till about 3 games to go, we had an Avg. race till the last game, Mvp race, hell, we had race in every stat maybe for the exception of RBIs, I thank you. It was a pleasure to compete with all of you and I’ll remember this year of Badass Baseball and all the guys I played with.

– Cav Manning